Craving Eden Read online

  He thumbed her tears away and shook his head. “I disagree.” How could he explain the conclusion he’d come to over the last handful of days?

  It was his fault. It was all his fault. It might have taken him ten years to realize it, but it was his mistake that caused Eden to run from him. It was his fault she’d been alone, pregnant and desperate enough to marry a man she didn’t know. Hell, she hadn’t really known him, either.

  “How could you have trusted someone who kept what he was from you for nearly a year? I didn’t realize it at the time, but I lied to you by omission.” Jake shook his head when she started to speak. “No, baby. You had every right to do what you did. I’m just glad you trusted me enough to come home to me and gift me with my daughter.”

  He meant what he said. It took the better part of the last ten days to come to terms with what she had done—what they both had done to each other all those years ago.

  “I’m just as much to blame as you, if not more.” Jake tucked her head beneath his chin and reveled in her warmth pressed against him. He could stay like this all day, but he had business in town and a daughter to drive to school.

  “Your eggs!” Eden pulled away and rushed into the house.

  She was pulling the pan of scorched eggs from the burner when he walked in.

  “I’m sorry. I burned your eggs.” She scraped the mess into the trash. “I’ll fix you some more.” It appeared as though she might cry.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ll grab something on the way to the office. I have to give my deputies instructions before I head out. Today is the day I usually spend at the construction site. Besides, it's time to go. I'll take Harper to school and then kill a few hours between my two offices. You'll have the whole morning alone. Enjoy it while you can because I don’t plan to go back to work after lunch.”

  Leaving Eden alone in his house was one of the hardest things he’d do before noon. He wanted to stay and hold her, tell her everything would be alright.

  Instead, he turned and stared through the window at the morning sun. “You should say your goodbyes. It’ll be a few hours before you see each other again.

  Eden needed to talk to her daughter alone. He had no doubts that their farewell would be tearful.

  From the way he understood it, the two of them hadn't spent as much as ten minutes apart for as long as Harper could remember. Today was going to be a difficult day for them both.

  The drive to the school didn't take long. Harper's anxiety was enough to get on his nerves. He wasn’t used to nervous little girls. When he became his sister’s guardian, she’d been thirteen and, for the most part, acted like a little adult.

  Harper’s tiny feet kicked the dashboard of his SUV repeatedly until he wanted to tell her to stop. He managed to hold his tongue, though. If there was one thing he learned about his daughter over the last ten days, it was that being firm with her would have only made matters worse. She would have closed herself off from him and retreated into a world of her own.

  He didn’t want or need that. Ever.

  The moment they walked outside and the fresh air hit him square in the face, the constant erection he had in Eden’s presence diminished, thank the gods. It would have been unacceptable to drive his daughter to school with a hard-on.

  He was lucky his damned erections went away when he left the house. Otherwise, this last week would have been pure hell. More than it already was.

  The time he spent away from Eden was enough to drive him mad, and the time he spent with her was driving him to drink.

  The only way he’d managed to get any sleep over the last several days was by drinking himself into a whiskey stupor. Things had to change soon, or he was going to become an alcoholic.

  Things would change today if he had anything to say about it. He smiled at the deserted road in front of them. He had every intention of beating Harper home from school by at least three hours.

  Three hours should be time enough to rub himself all over his mate and let her know there was no way he would ever tolerate her leaving him again.

  Chapter Ten

  Eden didn't watch them leave. She couldn't bear to look out the window while her baby got farther and farther away from her.

  It had been so long since she’d spent a day alone. She had no idea what she would with herself now that Harper was in school.

  After about fifteen minutes of cleaning up her mess in the kitchen and another hour of pacing, Eden thought doing some laundry seemed like a good way to pass the time.

  She managed to wash everything of hers and Harper's over the last few days. The only laundry left was Jake's. Dare she go into his room and remove the dirty clothes?

  He kept telling her she was his mate, and there were no others, but what if there was evidence to the contrary in his bedroom? Could she face it like an adult, or would she scream in a fit of jealousy that he hadn't been faithful to her?

  She shook her head and sighed. Hell, she wasn't even being reasonable anymore. He had every right to have sex with other women while she was gone. She'd had sex with Edward.

  Her skin crawled at the thought of it. She hadn't wanted it, hadn't wanted Edward, even though she’d married him. But, he had been her husband, and she couldn't deny him his conjugal rights after he’d been so kind to her—at least at first.

  Trudging up the stairs, she stopped just outside Jake's room, wondering if she should go in. Eden didn't know how long she stood at his door, her head resting against the cool wood, her hand on the knob. Finally, she took a deep breath and gathered enough courage to enter.

  After several moments, she released the breath she didn't realize she'd held. Eden blinked as she stared at the room, and her mouth fell open, and tears filled her eyes.

  Her throat burned as her gaze touched the furnishings Jake had purchased after she left. She remembered the set as though it were hers and not a tattered picture she’d torn from a magazine she found on the side of the road when she’d been homeless.

  She’d shown Jake the photo once, telling him that she would one day be able to afford such a beautiful bedroom set.

  Why had he kept the photo? Why had he purchased the bedroom suite she’d loved so much and moved it into his house when he couldn’t have known she would ever return?

  The huge, king-sized dark cherry bed sat between two large windows covered with the medium-blue lined drapes she'd purchased when she lived with him before.

  The matching bureau and vanity stood against the right wall with her comb, brush, and perfumes set on an oval mirrored tray. It was almost as though she hadn’t left—as though they waited for her to return and use them.

  The bed’s four posters boasted sheer curtains around it, and a beautiful blue and silver satin comforter covered the thick mattress.

  Even the maroon ruffled shams from her fantasy bedroom shot through with silver piping rested on the chair beside the bed. All the furnishings appeared just as they had in the picture she’d cherished so long ago.

  Her vision blurred as she entered his room and made her way to the bathroom. It was where Jake had always kept his hamper before.

  She found it with no difficulty, and as she suspected, filled to the brim. Smiling now that she had something to do, she pulled the clothes from the hamper and carried them to the hall and the basket she had waiting just outside his door.

  Dropping the clothes in the basket, Eden went back to make his bed. She was staying here rent-free, the least she could do was clean up a bit.

  From what she could see, Jake’s housekeeper Carlotta didn't seem to do much actual housekeeping. The little brunette cooked and waggled her ass in front of Jake, but in the ten days they’d been living with him, Eden had never seen the woman pick up a broom or mop. Eden had also never seen the little tart make a bed.

  It wasn't until she was next to the huge mattress that Eden saw the t-shirt sticking out from a box under the bed. It was one of hers from before, along with several pairs of underwear and socks. She’d
left them behind because she couldn’t bring herself to take the things he’d bought for her. How could she, when she knew to disappear in the dead of night, was the worst betrayal?

  Biting her lip, she stared at the box of clothes, her throat burning at the discovery of his choice of furniture and the fact that he hadn’t thrown her things away in a rage when she left. Most men would have done that very thing.

  She stared at the light-blue shirt half in and half out of the box under the bed. Why had Jake kept her things for so long? Had he always hoped she would come home someday? Did he still love her after all? Did she dare hope that he did?

  Swiping the back of her arm over her damp eyes, Eden bent down and shoved the shirt back into the box. Straightening, she then pulled the covers up, fully intending to make Jake's bed.

  When Eden got a whiff of his scent in the sheets, she sat down. Pulling his pillow into her lap, she hugged the pillow tight, closed her eyes, and inhaled his intoxicating scent.

  God, how she’d always loved the way he smelled. Taking another deep breath, she thought of all the years that separated them now.

  Eden wanted nothing more than to pick up where they left off ten years ago, but it wasn't fair to Jake. Not when she knew she was leaving next week. She had to go. No matter how much it hurt. Three weeks in one place was her limit. If she stayed much longer, Edward would show up and try to drag her back to his home.

  Gone was the idea that she would lose her car in a lake. Eden wasn't selfish enough to put her wants and needs before her daughter's, but God knew she wished she was.

  Tears dripped down onto his pillowcase as she sat, thinking of what could have been. What should have been, if only she would have had the courage to stay with Jake all those years ago. “You made your bed, Eden. It's time you learned to lie in it.”

  “It looks like you were making my bed, not yours.”

  Dropping the pillow, Eden jumped and swiped her eyes with the back of her hands. “Jake! What are you doing home so early?” She hadn't expected him for another few hours, at least.

  “I finished up a little early and decided to come home.” He unbuckled his gun belt and draped it over the back of the chair next to the closed door.

  Eden eyed the door and swallowed. “I—I was just getting your laundry and decided to make your bed while I was in here.”

  “I see that.” His expression was unreadable.

  Was he angry? It was hard to tell.

  He moved slowly as though the slightest sudden movement would send her into some sort of terrified tizzy.

  Eden sat mesmerized as he continued to remove his clothes and slowly close the distance between them. She licked her lips as he unbuttoned his shirt and wished that he wasn't wearing a t-shirt beneath his uniform so she could ogle his muscular torso.

  She wanted to see his smooth chest, run her hands over his rock-hard abs, and caress the small scar on his left shoulder.

  He'd gotten that scar in a knife fight the night they met. He saved her from an abusive man who intended to rape her and had gotten cut in the process. Even though he’d gotten it rescuing her, he never blamed her for the ugly white line that ruined the perfection of his tanned skin, but it didn’t stop Eden from blaming herself.

  She got her wish when he decided to pull both of the shirts over his head and threw them toward the chair where he left his gun.

  Every inch of his chest was a little different. Every sculpted line of his torso was the same as Eden remembered, yet not.

  He was a little thicker, his physique more defined, and she longed to trace the muscular flesh with her fingers.

  Jake stood across the room, staring at her. His steady gaze almost made her squirm, and she found herself wishing he would turn away if only for a moment so she could gather her wits about her. He didn’t turn away, and he didn’t do anything to cover the wide expanse of his muscular chest.

  Eden’s fingers itched to feel the smooth warmth of his skin. She longed to trace every line, every indentation of his hairless chest. Most of all, she yearned to trace the outline of each flat brown nipple just to hear him groan.

  That he stood before her, looking like some bronzed Greek god, did little to stop the idea she had of plastering herself to him and kissing every exposed inch of his suntanned flesh.

  He might be the sheriff of Haven, but he’d also worked in the family’s construction business. Working outside in the sun was something he had loved to do every chance he got when she knew him before. It was obvious he hadn’t changed much.

  Eden fought the urge to get up and rush to him, pull him into her arms, and promise never to leave him again.

  But she didn't have to go to him. He unbuttoned his slacks, his hand hovering over the fly for a moment before he took the three remaining steps between them.

  She couldn't resist when he pulled her to him, his hands gripping her shoulders lightly for a moment before slowly sliding down her arms in a sensual caress.

  Her breath came hard and heavy as Jake's hands moved lower to cup her behind before he pulled her to him, grinding his erection into her mound.

  She couldn't help the whimper that escaped when his mouth closed over hers. The feel of his lips caressing hers was just as she remembered it. Exactly as she dreamed, longed for, over the hundreds of lonely nights since she left him so long ago

  Heat spread through her, searing her body where their hips met. It was almost as though something intended to weld them together so they could never part again.

  Blood that felt nearly molten moved slowly through her veins, driving every thought from her mind except the man in her arms.

  Ever so slowly, his hand crept between them, unbuttoning her jeans and sliding sinuously into her panties and then between her legs.

  Wanton and needy, Eden spread her legs for him. She craved him, craved this before she left. Maybe loving him one more time would prove to her that they could have made a life together if it weren't for her stupid, childish mistakes in the past.

  Desire, want, need roared through Eden as his fingers found the slick flesh hidden between the folds of her sex.

  She continued to kiss him. Her arms wrapped firmly around his neck. She pulled him to her with a moan while his fingers slid through her heated flesh.

  She wanted him, needed him more than she ever thought possible. What would she do, what could she do, but allow this to happen?

  Making love with Jake was right, natural. It was something they should have been doing for years. It was something they would have been doing for years if she hadn’t been so young and stupid enough to run away from him.

  It was only right that she gave him what he so obviously desired. She would give him, give them both, this next week, then she would leave and, with luck, she would take the danger with her.

  Eden knew she would come soon if he didn't stop. It had been so long, too long since she had been with a man. It had been nearly ten years since that fateful night when she'd given herself to Edward and became ill, and it had been more than ten years since she had enjoyed a man's touch—this man's touch.

  Jake’s lips left her mouth, moving to her jaw, then her ear as he continued to hold her up with one hand and ravish her sex with the other. If he didn't stop soon, she would come. It would all happen too fast, and there was still the chance her senses might return. She didn't want that. She wanted him. Only him.

  “I need you, Eden.”

  How many times had she dreamed of hearing Jake say those words again?. “I—I know. I need you, too, Jake. God, I need you so much.” The last came out on a sob.

  She didn't want to need him. She didn't want to hurt when she left again. The last time she left him, it almost killed her. But Eden knew she had to go. She didn't have a choice. None of them had another option.

  Staying together was too dangerous. The two of them must live separate lives, and Harper would have to grow up without her mother. It was the way things had to be for their daughter to remain safe.

&
nbsp; If only things could be different. If only she hadn't run from Jake so many years ago, or if she hadn’t met Edward and fallen for his lies. Maybe, just maybe she could have stayed here with the two most important people in her world. But not now. Now, there were too many years and dangers between them.

  The words had barely left her lips when he pulled her t-shirt over her head and tossed it across the room.

  “You'll never leave me again, Eden. Never again. So get that fucking idea out of your head right now.” He moved closer, forcing her back toward the bed. “I can't go back to that half-life. Jerking off while holding your clothes to my face, dreaming of you, craving you.” His gorgeous green eyes glowed. “You don’t know what it’s like for a wolf to lose his mate. Losing you almost killed me.”

  Eden stared at him with wide eyes. Was that why her clothes were in a box under the bed? She couldn't help her furtive glance at the box, still sticking out from its hiding place.

  “Yes, baby,” he breathed the words against her neck as he moved even closer, bearing her down onto the rich comforter she remembered so well. “I've kept your things close to me, driving me mad with your scent as I held your clothes to my face and dreamed.”

  “You—you mean—”

  “Yes. That’s exactly what I mean. I have never been with another woman since you left. How could I when my every thought is of you? I crave you, Eden. I crave your scent. I crave the feeling of your body pressed against mine. I crave your love. I need your love.” The right corner of his mouth cocked up in a grin. “Don't you remember my telling you that we mate for life? No other woman can arouse me. Only you can. Without you, my life is nothing. I have no reason to go on.” His voice sounded strained as he spoke, his breathing harsh.

  “You have Harper now.”

  He shook his head. “I will not subject myself to another decade of a half-life, living with the memory of your soft skin, touching mine, sliding against mine as we make love.” He propped himself on his elbows to look down into her eyes, then slowly leaned down to press a kiss between her breasts. “Not when I can have you here with me.”